I'm a mommy on the edge!

Every day is a constant up-hill battle with #1. I find that sometimes I expect way more out of him then I really should be. He is after all only 7 years old. He is a boy and isn't some unwritten law somewhere that "Boys will be Boys"? I understand that he is hyper and I get that all boy's make fart and car noises and other ridiculously annoying sounds. My question is when is enough enough, how much can I handle. I try to remain calm but often I loose it. Take this morning of example 30 minuets into my day and I was already yelling "ENOUGH!" Ugh that's a grate start to the day. Now have a good day at school, stay out of trouble.
Recognizing the problem is the first step. Now I must change, I must be the one to set the example. After all I'm the adult, right? I don't want to be a mean mom but I also don't want my kid to walk all over me. Think it's okay not listen and do whatever he wants to do. But there is a fine line and I can't seem to find the spot.
Time-outs, forget it he'd be there all day everyday. When I do send him there he gets out and does the same thing over again. "Hello uhm are you kidding me? You were just in time-out for doing that. What the...." Spanks, yup I believe in them, meh not so either. I mean if I say "Throw something at you sister again you get a spank" He wont throw anything else. Otherwise I will spank and low and behold, he does it again. The attitude and the talking back "Say it again you get your mouth washed out" 2 seconds later he says it. Reward system works for about a week, then he is over it.
I often wonder 'what did I do for him to act this way, where did I screw up?' Only 7 and I am already thinking/saying this to myself. Oh boy am I headed for long road.
Then there are day where is leaves going 'Who the heck is this kid?' He's helping out, he's getting things for his brother and sister, he's asking to do chores, he's respectful. Ah heaven. But its short lived. I must find out how to make him act that way all or at least 70% of the time.

People really do judge a book by its cover!

   A week ago I needed to stop in at #1's school to check up on him. He has a problem controlling himself. Mild ADHD. Normally when I go to his school it is just to pick him up. I'm dressed in my normal attire, cutoff shorts, black tank top, flip flops, hair up in a Cindy Lou Who Do (which is really just my obnoxious way of saying messy bun). Mostly because I can only fit into Jr's clothes and I don't want to look anymore like a teenager than I already do. I have seven tattoos. I am 26 years old and look younger then that. Which I absolutely hate, I know I know some of you reading this are probably thinking "whats wrong with her?" but I often get asked or treated like my oldest son (7 years old) sister not his mom. Drives me nuts!
   Well there are a few moms and even teachers at #1's school that would give me dirty glances or not even talk to me normally when I pick him up. Why? Not a clue. On this particular day of shadowing #1 I wore more make-up then normal (Normal is just eyeliner and mascara) nice jeans with no holes in them, sneakers, and really nice top. All my tattoos where covered. I got treated so differently. One teacher actually shook my hand and said "Nice to meet you Mrs. McNutt." Huh?? Mrs. McNutt?? No one has EVER called me that. This was weird.
  The one mom who I swore hates me actually said "Hello" to me and asked if I were a parent there. I just kept thinking "Lady you are INSANE you know me. I stand next to you every day when picking up our kids." But instead of coming back at her with some random witty retort like I normally  would do I simply said "Yup." She offered her hand for me to shake, I reluctantly accepted as she said "Its so nice to meet wonderful parents that actually care for their child." Mmmhmm was all I could say. As I walked away I kept thinking what is so different? Why are people treating me differently. Even some of the other second graders actually talked to me like a parent, asked me for help with things during class. Then it me like a ton of bricks when #1 said "Why are you dressed like that? You look like a teacher. Is that Grandmas shirt?"
   Now I get it! I'm dressed differently than normal. Wow good job society! I have never really been in this type of situation before. Its really sad that Teachers, Parents, even kids treat you differently based on your clothes, tattoos etc. Just because I am small, young, look even younger, have tattoos does not make me a different person on the inside. I'm still sweet (unless you tick me off). I'm still caring. I'm still witty. I'm still human. We all are. It saddens me that people judge you solely on looks and are passing that down to their children. Knowingly or not.
  

Hollywood Style Bubble Bath

 

 

 



What you will need:
 
1 Cup Epsom Salt
1/2 Cup Shampoo 
1 Teaspoon Gelatine 
1 Egg (optional)
Essence Oil (optional)

Making sure all little's are asleep, or you have a wonderful Husband allowing you some free time.
Mix together one egg, 1/2 cup shampoo, and one teaspoon gelatine with an electric beater.
Now I like to put my hair up and rinse off in the shower before soaking in the tub. While the tap is running, heat to your preference, sprinkle the Epsom salt along the bottom of tub evenly to relax those tired mommy muscles and add the shampoo mixture under running watter. While you are waiting for the tub to fill Light candles, set music, and get wine if you are so inclined (I know I always do.) Once the tub is full and water is off add your essence oil. I use lavender it is used as a natural calming and relaxing. Only add about 2-3 drops if you add a lot it will burn your lady parts and that my darlings is NO fun, TRUST me! Now relax for 45min to an hour.
After you are done with your bath you give yourself a little rinse again if you choose. Make sure you lotion before dressing. Repeat once a month because you deserve to!

A Few Things About Me You Didn't Know

 1.

I am an extremely clumsy person. I walk into walls, fall off chairs, and just trip and fall. Then in most cases I say "I'm sorry" to the floor or wall. My oldest son takes after me as well. We are very accident pron. Just a few short months ago #3 threw a 'Power-aid' bottle and #1 got hit in the head by it, he ended up with a large gash on his. "Who knew an empty Power-aid bottle could be deadly? Leave it me to find that one out", he said to me. Some few weeks after that my phone rang and I got off the couch to go grab it and BAM right into the wall. Had a black eye and a large bump for days!

2.

Spell check saves my life. No explanation or story needed.

3.

I hate people who can't drive and have a little case of road rage. My dad taught me the '3 strike' rule "You are old, ugly,and cant drive, licence revoked!' My issue is people who have a licence that CLEARLY do not belong on the road. Also I think that once you hit a certain age you should have to re-take the test and every year after that.

4.

 

My husband and I met our sophomore year of high school. We remained friends due to the different paths of life we were on. We started dating my senior year. I was going to a small privet right behind his work and bumped into him one day after school. I was just driving down the road and I heard a honk flowed by some loon screaming me name. Turns out that loon was my love. The rest is history. Ten years later and we are still going strong.

 

 

5.

 

 

 

I am adopted. My birth mother was 16 years old and addicted to drugs when she conceived me. My birth father was 20 years old and in prison. Originally for assault and battery, armed robbery, breaking and entering, and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. He was later put on work release and tried to kid nap me and my birth mother adding more charges. My birth mother kept up with her partying leaving me with whom ever for however long. The state gave her an option to either take parenting and drug rehab classes or the state would take me, as my birth fathers family were not an option, but that's a different story for another time. I love the parents I have now (God rest my dad) and would not change a thing. Although I would like to find my birth parents to ask them one simple question "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU PEOPLE THINKING?!"

 

6.

 

 

I don't feel my contractions. With #1 I woke up in the middle of the night and literally thought I had peed my pants. I just thought "WOW this is odd, the whole pregnancy and with one week to go, NOW I pee myself." I quickly changed my pants and blanks and went back to sleep. About an hour later it happened again! This time I had a small stomach ache with it. I woke up the husband and told him "I just peed twice in my sleep and my stomach hurts a little." He suggests that we go to the hospital and I tell him No and that I think it was just the 5 tacos and burrito with 20 hot sauce packets on it from Taco Bell, from dinner and that I was going to go get a bath. I fill up the tub and sit down then *WHOOSH* "Oh, that is NOT pee". I quickly hop out of the bath, throw on a baggy shirt and my husband basketball short, and run screaming "We are having this baby! I need the hospital NOW!" Now problem here, we were at his aunts house about 45min away from my hospital with no over night bag. Half way to the hospital I feel like I need to push and am screaming "FASTER!" He was already going 120 mph, 45 min drive was made in about 15min. Once we arrived at the hospital I come waddling in holding my stomach and the security guard asks us "Are you in labor?" I quickly reply "Nope I have a little head ache, YES I'M IN LABOR!!!" Leave it to me to still be a smart ass in a time like this. At this point I'm in pain I get up to the check in and the women wants me to do paperwork! I hurdle over in the wheel chair and scream "AHHHHHH!!!!!" The nurse says "Do you feel like you need to push?" Again my smart ass "That's why I am here, DUH!!" They quickly put me in a room, I threw my clothes on the floor and jumped up on that bed. I can hear my husband say "She needs pain meds." The nurse says back "She cant, shes crowing." They tell me "No pushing" What the hell, no pushing?! Yeah easy for YOU to say. A few moments later the On-call doctor comes in, I push twice and here is my little monster, err I mean bundle of joy. Haha

Add a nice mix to a relaxing bath after a stressful day. Dont for get the wine ;)

                       Lavender Bath Mix


2 Tablespoons of dried lavender flowers
2 Tablespoons of dried basil
2 Teaspoons of cinnamon
2 Cups of witch-hazel

Crush and mix the lavernder flowers, basil, and cinnamon. Add the 2 cups of witch-hazel. Steep for 2 weeks and strain. Add 1/4 cup to bath water oruse as an after-bath splash.

Free Willed Children or Robot Kids. Whats your take?

Now I know this sounds like an iffy subject. There are kids out there that have too much "Free Will" I.E. those kids that you see running up and down the aisle of your local Walmart (or equivalent store) unattended. I'm going to discuss two types of parents. There are the parents who give a certain amount of Free Will. The ones who still parent but let their kids breath. Also there are the parents that 'helicopter' their children. You know, the kids who are 5 and sit there like a droid. Almost to scared to play in the dirt, get finger paint all over themselves or run up and down a hallway singing like a loon in a mental institute. Things that I believe all kids this age should do.

Free Willed Children: Now my house is a more relaxed teaching atmosphere. I let my kids do pretty much what they want. Under my rules, and safety guidelines of course. I feel this allows my kids to be kids. There are certain times to eat, to work on homework/chores and go to bed. Other than that they play when, where, and how they want. This makes for a more crazy household but the kids are having fun. Which is the best thing for them. When we go in public they know, if we are at a store they MUST behave. I have ABSOLUTELY NO TOLLERANCE for running a muck or acting like a fool. In my eldest sons case, I have left a store once. At the time he was 2 1/2 and would not stop yelling because I wouldn't buy him an over priced toy. With the twins it has been twice. The first time was an issue of over tired babies (my fault) and the second was both of them crying over yes, you guessed it, an over priced toy I wouldn't buy. I left the cart in the front of store (so the people could put the stuff away a little easier). Then I informed the kids "You couldn't behave you don't get your stuff and mommy will go shopping with out you and get what I need and no extras due to your behavior".
Now about manners. I feel all kids MUST have great (notice I did not say good) manners. I ignore all requests until I here that "P" word. Please and Thank-you are absolutely necessary. There are way to many kids out there these days that just expect everything to be handed to them, and that is just not how the world turns. I also think the way they speak to adults should be a certain way. Mr. And Ms. before saying ones name is a definite must in my book, unless told otherwise by the said person. Unless it is a grandmother, grandfather, Aunt, Uncle ect. I can't tell you how many times I have had a friend's child say "Hey, do this". I'm sorry but I guess I missed the memo saying it was acceptable to speak to your elders like they are your friend. A lot of parents want to be friends with their kid, but you're here to teach them how to behave when they get out into the real world, not pal around with them. Does that mean you can't have fun with your kids? Absolutely not. But there is a fine line.
With rules in my house you have to earn things. To my 7 year old: "you want money for that new nerf gun? Cool. Do chores." Nothing in life is free. To my 4 year old twins: "You want to stay up an hour late? Sweet. No fighting with each other durning the day." I do not have a ton of rules but the ones that I do have are simple and they keep you safe.

Robot Kids: I my self find it really disturbing when I see a child who can't act like kid. "Don't play in that dirt." "Don't sing like a loon." "Don't act like a car." "Don't get dirty." They sit there as if they are droids.If you want your child to have a super strict structre I'm not going to argue. Have a blast. I just feel there are certain ways a 3-5 year old needs to be able to act. Yes, their house may be more quiet and may be more clean which I do envy. But when is enough, enough?
They are very well mannered. Which is really great. But I feel they are being set up to be stuck up. Now I'm saying that every child who is a robot kid will end up with their noses in the air. But I have seen a pattern. Get off your child's backs and stop helicoptering them. Watch them of course, but don't follow them around like a fly on poop. Let them make mistakes. Let them get dirty. They are kids that's how they learn.
For example: if you see them trying to do something that may end in them getting a scrape or little bump, warn them. No need to overreact and stop them. They need to fall down in life both physically and metophorically speaking. Again this is how they learn.
With a robot kid they have instruction as to how they are to act every second of every day. With a free willed child they don't have a you must act/say this at every single turn. They are FREE! Free to be kid. Yet still well mannered and have the life skills to get back up after a fall/challenge.